this is the dendoo blog, duh


Posted in 1, competition by dendoo on July 25, 2009


My Japanese vocab is limited to fooooood, greetings and sadly I don’t know any curse words but that’s because I’m a virgin and us virgins are holy.  We are only allowed to say “sweeet pickled fairy sauce”.  So yeah I know how to say that in Japanese.

Why do I deserve this once in a lifetime opportunity? Well first off cause I’m me.  I’m so spectacular and special.  I smell like vanilla…or whatever your favourite scent happens to be.  You like pumpkin?  I smell like pumpkin.  Want some swamp water?  Okay.  I am swamp water scented.  So yeah that’s a cool reason for me to win this.

Secondly my brother is in Japan right now and he told me all the Japanese guys that he’s been showing my photo to are in love with me.  So let’s get this straight…they’re going to ship me over to Japan in a trunk  SKKKERRCH—-> sidenote, when i was a kid I thought the term “mail order bride” meant they put you in a trunk or a box and shipped you in the mail to your new husband.  cute huh? <———– to meet my new husband and I can’t even understand when he’s asking me to wear the naughty maid outfit?  How will I please him?  I mean what would happen if I accidently wore the school girl outfit instead?  Can you imagine the horror?  So duh!  I need to understand my new, unseen, probably looking non Arashi hot man.

I am from Jupiter and I am terribly smart.  Um excuse me, bright.  But my language filter broke on my crash entry.  I tried using Rosetta Stone but it was made by Martians and after the Glogblpian Galatic Infudertial War I am could NOT see myself using Martian made software.  What would the Master Dinko think?   Even though Master tricked me into coming on this journey and I was only a lowly 784th wife of his and he said I was the ugliest of them because my fifth arm had not grown in properly….well what would my love think?  Anyway I’ve been trying to collect as many languages as I can to rebuild my library but it’s hard doing things the way you Earthlings do.   Actual learning…how original galaxy of you.  I guess that’s why I’m only on English.

4. [there is no four]
ah a classic throwback to the days of posting on the [adult swim] forums.  anybody with me?  anybody…. hmm…guess I’m the only one.

5. I’d really like to learn Japanese.  I’ve been trying but I need something better than what I have right now.  From the time I read about Japan I wanted to live there and for the past six years I’ve wanted to teach there.  It would be an asset for me to learn the language especially since I am now in the midst of seriously looking for teaching positions.  I have learned a few things but I want to learn more.  Those answers above are silly me but this answer right here is serious me.  I sleep, eat, and pop a squat thinking about Japan.  Now I’d like to do all those while speaking Japanese.

Good luck to everyone.  Word to yo momma.

This post was brought to you in part by this sexy beast and financial support from viewers like you.

much love, dendoo-san.


5 Responses

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  1. Jamaipanese said, on July 25, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    thanks for your entry 😀

    A super active imagination you got there. Good luck!

  2. Jamaipanese said, on July 26, 2009 at 10:37 am

    Contest results posted! were you a winner? check ’em out here.

  3. […] me that F-22 I’ve always wanted or even that plantinum Gundam. My favourite entry came from Dendoo whose swamp water perfume was the reason I fell off my chair, when I recovered she proceeded to […]

  4. Quan said, on July 26, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    LMAO!!! you are too much boo! but hey, if you got a japanese man, yalls gonna make some cute ass babies, omg… all brown and caramels, natural tan represent!!!

  5. Philip Seyfi said, on July 28, 2009 at 4:13 am

    lol funny entry! Congrats 😉 I’ll send you a serial key ASAP…

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