Finding your inner self
Growing up is something we all have to do but it can be one of the hardest things we ever face.
I was having a discussion with a friend who I’ll call “Sugar Plum” (cause she’s just so sweeeet!) and we were talking about our twenties being the years of discovery. We both agreed we’re discovering it’s hard to discover. There’s a lot that happens when you start to come into your own: your fashion changes, your views evolve, you feel like a woman or man but no one sees you that way, you probably have sex a lot and drink until you pass out…or not. You want to explore new avenues and tell old ones that you’ll be back later. It’s just one big adventure, right?
I believe finding your inner self is separated into parts: there is the part that always was and the part that you have to awaken.
You always were spiritual, always were a big spender, you always were optimistic about life and you always wore red shoes with little black bows. Ok those are you always, your constants, the things you are comfortable with and know about yourself already.
AWAKE AND EXPLORE
You didn’t know you are bi-curious, you had no clue you are a good listener, you love discovering how to go green, you make a mean cocktail, you are interested in doing your own thing & screw the consequences. Who knew?
Maintaining your always was isn’t the difficult part, cultivating your awake and explore side is the where the issues start. These additions to your you are going to create a whole new! Hmmm…I’m starting to rhyme and that’s not a good sign. Yikes!
The bottom line is you can’t be afraid to try your newness. You might want to hang out with an edgier crowd, but you can’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Go to the underground music shows, introduce yourself to new people, open your mind. If you’re closed off you’re never going to be able to awaken and explore.
Sugar P. noted that as she started to awaken and explore new sides of her person the constants that she thought were unchangeable started to change. Example:
“I was a huge party girl in college and everyone knew it. If there was a party at the club you could count on me to be there, if there was a house party yep I’m there. But then I started reading up on Buddha and it’s a zen lifestyle, more calming than anything I’ve ever known. I used to make fun of people who couldn’t go hardcore but now I understand why some people have a limit. Don’t get me wrong, I still party (whoop whoop!) but I love the calming effect that I get from learning about other religions and I’ve applied it to my new me. I can go out now and have two or three drinks and still be chilled. I was never like that before.”
Okay Sugar P. changed a constant by exploring and awakening a new side of her. (Actually I for one am glad cause she does get a lil crazazy). One thing we both agreed is when you decide to find your inner you have to go for it. You can’t be a-scared. I mean, duh, you will be a-scared but you have to push past that. Between the two of us we came up with a listo of how to find the inner, the new, the real, yep the you!
doe: Believe in your wants and your alreadys
Look I’m not saying if you want to try drugs to believe in that, but believe in who you are already and believe in what you want to explore. If you want to know more about your ancestors in order to find more fulfillment in you the go ahead. Go book a ticket and explore your forefather’s homeland, go talk to nana. But you have to believe in what it is you’re trying to find out. If you don’t believe in it you’re never going to press on and you’re never going to open up and accept what you find.
ray: Listen to your heart
This post is entitled “Finding” your inner self. You’re going to have to do some digging around. When you’re looking for something it’s not always easy. Listening to yourself makes the journey easier. There will be people around you asking “Why do you want to do that? Why do you want to wear that? Why d you want to go there?” They’re planting the seeds of doubts but if you listen to your heart and follow your inner voice you will mos def find what your looking for. I mean honestly you can’t listen to Amy’s heart or Kevin’s heart can you? Thought not.
mee: Be true to your already, Be true to you
Look, you want to explore right? Okay that’s fine. But if exploration takes you too far from who you already are is that really worth it? You have to find the balance between going after the dreams and keeping a part of you intact. At the end of all this exploration you don’t want to come out a 100% new person. We’d like to still be able to recognize you. You can put makeup on and change one layer but underneath it all you’re still you. Don’t forget the values and morals that make up you. As cutesy as it may seem, some people may actually like you for the good, for the things they are comfy with and you might love you for that too.
fah: Get a tour guide
My mommy, who I love to death, is the queen of reading self help, self improvement books. Sometimes I laugh at her but some of her books are really on spot. I’ve bought a few books myself and they have really helped. Think of books as a tour guide into this journey. Try reading some of these books, they’re not just about how to dress pretty but they deal with spirituality, sexuality, money woes, mental growth, emotional growth. Baby it’s the whole rainbow. The truth? When you’re finding your inner you every part of you has to grow. These books are highly recommended from meeeee: What to Do When You’re Twenty-Two: A Survival Guide for the Quarter-Life Crisis, If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You, Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent, On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Personal Finance, 20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman’s Guide to Balance and Direction
Okay sweeties. Just remember everyday this week is a new post on transforming a new part of your you and your life. If you are finding your inner self I wish you lots of luck and really I do feel our twenties is the ideal time to discover ourselves. It’s almost like it’s expected.
Who is your inner you?
Much love, dendoo