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An Open Letter to Essence Magazine: The Natural Hair Issue

Posted in Inspiration, misc by dendoo on October 8, 2010

Dear Essence,

I read your magazine before and it was okay but it always left me wanting more.  For your November issue, which is being described on the internet as the Natural Hair issue, I have only seen the cover but already I feel if your magazine were a meal I would still need to be fed after eating.

The cover features actress Kerry Washington who is talented and gorgeous.  I really find no fault with her; I find fault with the idea of using a non “natural” haired woman who is wearing what seems to be a weave or some sort of wig on the cover of the natural hair issue.

If the issue is approaching “natural hair” from the angle Tyra did on her tv show -meaning your natural hair WITHOUT weaves than okay, I can somewhat understand.  A lot of women have an issue with dealing with their relaxed hair let alone what some people angrily call napps (I say napps with love).  So I could understand, just a bit, if that was the angle you guys were going for.

However, the term “natural hair” makes me think of a woman like me:  hair that is not chemically treated to straighten it into a texture that I was not born with.   Nice thick nappies, kinks, curls, that hard hair or soft even but whatever the texture, hair that is in its raw state and is NATURAL.  So yes some naturals do have the texture Ms. Washington is sporting for the cover and more power to them but I don’t think that is her real hair.  Not at all.

If Essence is a magazine for women it would have been refreshing to see real, everyday natural haired women representing what the tagline reads “Curl it, Twist it, Lock it, Rock it”.  How beautiful it would have been to see some real women of different ages, shades, and sizes gracing the cover of the magazine truly showcasing natural hair.

I have been highlighted on the community BGLH.com  (Black Girl with Long Hair) and it’s great to see other naturals showing off their healthy hair and style.  It is proof that naturals can be just as divalicious as the woman who was chosen to grace the cover.  I know it’s all about numbers and picking Kerry Washington was probably given a lot of thought.  It might be too risky to throw some real women on the cover of a magazine in hopes that it might sell, but grab your balls and remember that Essence is Essence!  Break a mold for once!

Lastly, a lot of naturals are frustrated with this magazine and it’s approach to the natural hair movement.  I’ve read blogs whose authors have one eyebrow raised at this very cover I am writing about, blogs criticizing your natural hair chat that was online, and there are many (myself included) who feel as if Essence is using the natural trend to sell some units.  Well I know you have to make money but I really hope you’re not approaching this as a gimmick, as a thing to make a quick buck.

I would like to read this issue but I won’t be able to because of where I live at the moment.  However, I really hope what is inside this issue makes up for its introduction.  Never judge a book by it’s cover so they say…and I have so yeah I could be forced to swallow a big helping of “shut up” but I’m telling you from the mind of a natural that it just doesn’t feel right.  It would have been amazing if naturals could have been celebrated properly.

One last thing, if the idea of using naturals of every age, shade and sized had been done you could have had a curvy girl on the cover next right next to the topic “Curvy Girls….”

This is the cover of mixed messages.  Where’s my map?  I’m lost.

 

Fashion, Freedom and Melting Makeup

Posted in fashion, Inspiration, misc by dendoo on August 24, 2010

What’s up dendoo lovers?  Today I decided to merge two posts into one.  I went on a lil stroll down the hill from the scary house I’m staying in while in Japan and decided to be Glamour Girl!  Thanks to my roomies Catherine and Jennifer for taking pics of me and for enjoying the dendoo experience.   Photos will be scattered throughout.

Now, down to the nitty gritty:  Earlier this year I boycotted Forever21 because a friend of mine who is also an artist found the company was stealing her designs.  So Forever21 was the main core of my closet and it was saddening to have to say goodbye to them.

But if you’ve only known something for so long then how are you to make the switch?  It’s like going from a Mac to…..what??  What’s better than a Mac?  See Forever21, we had something good going on and then you messed it up by plagiarizing.

So what are some good alternatives to F21?  I had to change my mindset and maybe my budget but I found some great stores that can keep me looking right and tight like the plain fashionista that I am.

click mah pic to see h&m!

H&M is first on my list because this is a store that closely resembles the F21 aesthetic without stealing hardworking artists ideas. Walking into this store it feels like the grownup, graduated version of it’s little sister.

Also shout outs go to H&M because they invited my boo boo Geneticboi to be a part of this style thingamajigger (go check it out)!

The prices vary but some are moderate and others are a little more than you would pay at Forever21 but when shopping in here you have to think “I’m a grown up now”.  If you can repeat that bad boy you’re set for some good shopping.  The clothes are well made as far as cheap clothing go and they have a good variation of styles.

clicky da piccc-ky to see zara

Zara:  this is the uppity up up.  You can find AWESOME clothing in here.  Prices are higher than F21 for sure and higher than H&M but walking with a wardrobe from this shop will have you looking polished and professional for certain.  Don’t let this store scare you.  The first time I walked into Zara I asked myself “Charrish, what are you doing in here?”  Don’t psych yourself out!   This store delivers quality pieces for the money so get to shopping hunny!

Dendoo Shopping Tips: Stopping in many of the no name brand stores in the mall will allow you to purchase cheap shirts that will become the foundation of your wardrobe.  You can find plain coloured tees for at least 3 bucks that will stretch your wardrobe out extensively.

I pity the fool who pays more than 10 bucks for a plain tee.  Why?  Because these were meant to be worn at the drop of a hat, meant to spiff up a plain outfit and meant to be worn with your Jimmy Choos.  A plain tee is plentiful in your life so why would you spend $50 for a tee shirt that was meant to go through damage?  No I say, No!!

This pic takes you to ModCloth!

Here’s a good suggestion:  find a quirky online clothing store that suits your personal tastes.  If you’re into a style like vintage clothing, the internet can be a treasure chest of treats just waiting for your clicks.  One store that instantly jumps to mind is Mod Cloth.  I haven’t ordered from them yet but I plan to as soon as I get some money cause my wardrobe was minimized in my move.

These guys have awesome finds and they’re unique enough that you won’t feel as if everyone just stopped in your closet that morning.  The prices are pretty decent and not only is their regular stock reminicent of a vintage feel but they carry legit vintage clothing too!  So if you’re the type of girl that wants to ease her way into vintage pieces this would be a great stop for you.

Other great places to try would be Etsy and Ebay (although I don’t trust Ebay for the mere fact that the website is hella ugly).  There are also a lot of independent merchants who are selling awesome clothing with a very quirky feel.  You have to do a little bit of searching but when you find someone selling something that fits your style bookmark and smile cause you’re set!

These take you nowhere!!  Yaaaaay!

Last Thoughts: Recently I’ve been getting into brands.  Not wanting brands to be seen as a fashionista…if that’s what you have to see me as then you can keep that.  I have been eying brands for their beauty and durability, for the pure joy they give me and because I like what a certain brand stands for with it’s imaging.

I think it’s good to take advantage of some key brand pieces.  It’s good to invest in a suit by a certain brand, a nice handbag by a certain label, shoes by a certain designer because:

One:  you carry yourself differently when you have a label.  Does that mean you’re a label whore?  No.  It just means you’re noticing the true fit of whatever you’re wearing, the design and the style is more on point and it’s encouraging you to suck in your gut and carry yourself well.

Two:  the workmanship in designer clothes and accessories is evident and it helps the pieces last longer.  No more fraying edges and missing zippers.  You can feel the heaviness in a hem when it’s designer.  I watched a morning show do a segment on the difference between a pair of Louboutin and Payless shoes.  One part of the segment involved cutting the shoes in half through the sole and you could see there were layers and layers in the Louboutin’s and just a few little layers in the soles of the Payless shoes.  Workmanship, attention to detail, these are qualities you will find in a brand and these are the things that make them more expensive but worth the money.

Three: investing in a designer piece means you’re investing in yourself.  Yes it’s nice to go cheap sometimes but isn’t it just as nice to treat yourself?  Why not enjoy this season’s it bag, why not enjoy that dress or new shoe?  The thing about investing is you can’t pick up money from any old place and then say “Here I’m investing”.  So if you’re going to treat yourself nicely then you have to have the means to do it but there’s nothing wrong with giving yourself a little love.  This last point is especially to moms or women who place the world before them.  Maybe you can’t afford a $950 shoe but I’m sure you can afford a nice Coach wallet on sale at only $50.  Right?  Right.  You get to treat yourself and you gave yourself something you normally would have waltzed right past.

So maybe you still want to go to F21 and that’s your choice!  At the end of the day I’ll still drink with ya and laugh at something that’s not really funny.  I still wear my F21 clothes so I’m not going to hate on you but I realized there has to be more to clothing than F21 and these are just a few of the many options out there.

There are loads of brands to be discovered, loads of stores that respect art and design and loads of no name brands ready to stretch your budget.  I’m giving you a fraction of the pie!  Take this as a nudge, a gentle push, in a new direction.  This season what will your wardrobe say?  Are you discovering brands, are you anti brand?  Are you a victim of trends and do you want to do your own thing?  Do you want to get away from F21?

Think about fashion and where it’s taking you!  Maybe we’ll meet at the fashion crossroads.

Until then, happy shopping!!

Much much fashion love, dendoo

Condom use is Sexy

Posted in Inspiration, misc by dendoo on June 14, 2010

Well hello there!
I’ve had quite an adventurous time away but it’s back to the blog and back to sharing and caring.

About two weeks ago I watched a local show here that focuses on issues within my country’s community.  The issue being discussed that night was on the issue of condom use.  Well…let’s just say I didn’t totally agree with what was being said.  I was so disappointed I made a video about it AND wrote the show an email.  Take a look and read!

And this is what I wrote to the show:

Hello,

I watched your show last night dealing with HIV/AIDS within our community.  I am pleased that you highlighted women in your show.  Overall it was okay but there were some points where I was in total disbelief and disagreement with what you and your guests were saying.

On condom use:
This is where I had a huge problem with what you were telling us.  Yes it is true condom use is not popular within the TCI community or the Caribbean community for that matter but I think this was a place where you, as someone who is seen as an educated Black woman with various experiences, have an opportunity to help change that.

I can not recollect the exact term used by you and your guests but it was something along the lines of “it would be wrong of us to ask our partner to use a condom” in the sense that since it is our culture to do without we would be asking so much of our partner, it would be against culture and prat ice to ask our partner to use a condom.

I STRONGLY disagree.  Culture is not always right.  Practices are not always right.  It was practice to throw excrement right outside centuries ago, it was practice to not wash hands before an operation or sterilize instruments before and after operating, but these practices were WRONG.  It is prat ice within our community to not use condoms but that practice is WRONG.

I agree, within the Caribbean women are usually the strong force of a relationship.  I like to believe that women have the power to be movers and shakers.  We can let a man think he is charge but a strong woman knows how to quietly pull the strings.  I will not enter a relationship unless I can use condoms.  I don’t think it’s wrong to present this to my partner, I could care less if it goes against culture because at the end of the day I know culture will not help me if I get a STD or HIV or AIDS.

I don’t think I need to negotiate the use of condoms
.  Instead of encouraging our women to be passive in their womanhood you and your guests should have encouraged woman to take a bold step and look the issue in the eye.  There is nothing wrong with looking a partner in the eye and saying I use condoms and that is what I require in my sex life.  For the woman who does not like the female condom or is more comfortable with the male condom I think it is better to encourage her to be proactive and straightforward with her choices instead of tiptoeing around her man and asking in a submissive way if it’s okay that we use condoms.

If we can start changing our mentality about these things we can start making strides beyond our imagination.  I can’t understand how we can empower women if we’re telling them to be little kittens.  If our men are expecting us to be lionesses in the bedroom let’s start by being a lioness about our sexuality and our sexual life.

I believe culture is dictating too much of a woman’s life.
Actually I touched on this on my blog a bit.  I attacked it from the angle of what is expected of me culturally as a young woman and what I expect for myself.  If you like you can read it here: https://dendoo.wordpress.com/2010/06/01/youre-not-a-traditional-girl/

I think with all the different cultures and backgrounds we have in such a small community a woman, regardless of where she is from and her beliefs, may feel forced to keep up or conform to her partners beliefs.  A lot of people, men and women, living here do not feel it is a problem to have more than one partner AND to have unprotected sex with various partners.  However, if a woman can feel secure in who she is she will not only demand monogamy but she will also demand higher standards in her partner.  So you want to withold money?  Then keep it.  She should demand higher standards within herself.  It is only then a woman can be free from the perceptions, the practices and the unbalanced situations that life is presenting her.

Overall the show was okay but I think the way you presented some ideas could have been stronger.  I’m never going to trick or negotiate a partner into doing something that should be standard for my safety.  Screw culture when it comes to my sexual life.  We need to start educating ourselves at a younger age, don’t you think?  Too often I have asked why aren’t we educating our daughters from the time they are in high school?   Especially when this is the age many are starting to experiment sexually.

I will be blogging about this same issue.  Thanks for giving me something to think about.

What do you think?  In your culture is safe sex the norm and what do you feel about women and the strength of their voice in their sex lives?

Culture….it’s a crazazy thing.

Much love (and respect), dendoo

You’re not a traditional girl

Posted in Inspiration, misc by dendoo on June 1, 2010

pots. yuck.

Tradition.  Customs.  Culture.

As a black girl growing up in the Caribbean I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my mother say in her cutesy voice “But that’s our culturrrre.”  Yes, she does stress the R in culture and I love her for it.

If you are coming from a background that has a strong culture you can often feel lost because one foot is in the world of the now and the other foot is in the world of the expected.  My culture isn’t as demanding as some but there are some things that I don’t agree with.  I hadn’t even given a thought to what was expected of me as a black Caribbean woman until I recently entered a relationship with a guy from the Caribbean.  I have been known to say I am extremely reluctant to date guys from the Caribbean but after this relationship it is a certified fact.  I gats love for my Caribbean brothas but if they are going to stress me the way my ex was doing then they can keep their love.

So what exactly was going on with my ex?  What are the traditions/culture that I have issue with?

Growing up I often heard I need to learn to cook and clean so I can be a good wife.  I mean honestly I know back in the day that was what was expected of women but thank the Lord I never bought into that.  Sadly I can’t cook to save my life and I have no desire to but I am strongly opposed to the idea that as soon as I become a wife that is what I’m supposed to do.  Or as soon as I become someone’s girlfriend.  Ha!

As I started to learn more about the world around me and as I started to take in experiences that would shape my person I realized I want to be a savvy woman.  I want to be more Sex in the City (as far as my housing choice goes) than traditional housewife (no house with a picket fence thank you!).  I like going to nice restaurants, I like sipping wine in the evenings, I like shopping at nice stores for outrageous purchases, my idea of a nice dinner party does not include cheetos on the menu.  My ex did not appreciate this.  His response to me time and time again was “You are not a traditional Caribbean girl”.

Well duh!

But after hearing this over and over again I stopped finding joy in the statement and started to dread him saying it.  Why?  It felt like for the first time the thing I took pride in was actually bad.

You’re my inspiration!

I appreciate our traditional foods, I appreciate the idea that the man should be the leader of his household, I like our traditional music and holidays but that’s about as much as I need when it comes to tradition and culture.   I respect the most important things to me and what I didn’t agree with I worked hard to find something that fit me.  So imagine my surprise when I was getting rowed for not wanting to make him a sandwich in his own house or clean his room for him…or his house for that matter!  And not just getting the bad vibes from him but his father as well.  His own father would ask me why I wouldn’t clean or make food. I’m like whaaa?

So it made me wonder:  Is that all you expect your woman to be?  A cooking, cleaning, sex machine?

Ever since meeting my ex I started to meet more and more guys with those same expectations.  They want a meek girl who can cook them a meal, make sure the house is in top shape, sex them up good and ignore the fact that they are sleeping with someone on the side.  You can’t have a strong voice, you can’t be an independent thinker, you can’t want more than what your man needs you to want.

Wow.

Was that what I was buying into?

Granted, my ex had some wonderful qualities:  he is crazy optimistic, he’s very kind, he’s a good listener and he tries to do his best no matter what…but he couldn’t escape his culture and his expectations.  So we didn’t work.

So what do I do?  Do I stay a woman who appreciates certain parts of her culture and what is expected of her or do I transform myself into a 1950’s robot whose only mission is to make master happy?  Or…do I shun it all and be the nomad I wish to be, live in an apartment with a foreign view, date a guy with blue hair and piercings who cooks, and have rooftop dinner parties that don’t include cheetos?

Maybe I’ll give a Caribbean brotha another try but if he can’t appreciate my uniqueness then what’s the point?

Would you settle, would you give up?  Would you even care?
How is culture shaping your life?

Much love, dendoo

My Life Worth Living List

Posted in Inspiration, misc by dendoo on May 26, 2010


cute cupcakes via clevercupcakes

Well sometime last month I turned 25.  Yes I turned 25!

It’s hard to believe I have spent 25 years on this earth but it’s true.

I AM 25!

So since turning 25 I have been thinking super hard about my life and where it’s going and hopefully where it will go.  I have found semi success with my artwork, I have a wonderful family, sadly I suffered and still suffer from depression (it’s not something that just magically vanishes, it’s a part of you) but I am proud to say I have great and awesome goals for my 25 year old kind of life.

I’ve heard of a bucket list, it’s a list of all the crazazy awesome things you want to do before you die.  I had a bucket list before I even knew it was a bucket list but since celebrating the big two five I decided to really focus on creating a list that is perfect for me.

Now ya’lls know I can’t give it some lame as hell name as “bucket list”.  No way!  I had to name my list something soooo me.  So I thought why not name it “My Life Worth Living List”

So here are some items from my list in no particular order (and some of these might be a shocker)

Have a Baby:
Okay I know those who really know me are about to flip out.  I am anti children hardcore.  But I’ve been thinking lately that maybe, juuuuuust maybe, I would make a really cool momma.  I don’t picture myself having a traditional family (mommy, daddy, children and dog) but I do see myself being a fierce single mother.  I’d really like to look into this in my future possibly around age 30.  I’d love to adopt or if that is not possible I do have a few backup guys who have agreed to help me have a baby no strings attached.  Is that idea a touchy one?  Well it’s just like going to a sperm bank.


cute baby stuff by amy b

I am against having children because I never saw it in my lifestyle, I never saw me being a mommy but I would love to save a child from a difficult situation and raise that child with love.  Sadly, I see so many children with parents who should hardly be called that; seeing these children with crazy parents hurts my heart.  I’d love to have a little girl who can carry on the movement of radical self love or a little boy so I can help the next generation of brothas be sweet and edumacated.  It would be nice to give a child in a dire situation a good stable environment.  So this is an area that will have a lot of praying/meditation.  Right now I’m leaning towards adoption but if the Lord wants me to have my own lil bundle of dendoo I’ll have my very own.

Have a fashion show:
This isn’t terribly difficult but it can be.  I love designing clothes but I can’t sew.  Sigh.  I can’t sew…

Well I’m not going to let that stop me from doing something I’ve always dreamed of doing.  One way or another I am going to have a fashion show AND it’s going to be awesome.  I envision girls flouncing down the catwalk in crazy shapes and colours, bold and vibrant designs and lots of ethnic models (yep all you black, latina, and asian models will have a job with me!).  Then I can see tiny me skipping down the catwalk at the very end of the show looking uber cute.  You can’t deny it.  You want to buy it.  lol.

Have an over the top vacation:
When you check in at a hotel that caters to regular as well as posh clients have you ever felt boring because you know you’re getting the standard room, the standard stay, the standard vacation.  Yep.  Boring.


The Screen Boutique Hotel


Spending a week on the yacht….

Here’s the proposition:  a luxe room at a swankadocious hotel, going out every night, insane shopping, beautiful views, dancing till the early morn, soaking up the sun by the pool in my couture bathing suit.  Room service (my mother never let my order it growing up).  I’m talking about fine dining, plush bedding, exquisite interiors and so much more.  An over the top vacation!  Oh, and a spa day that leaves me looking a puddle of relaxation.  Gotta throw that in the mix.  I’m still trying to decide exactly where I want to go but I know it’s going to be killer dude.

Make a CD:
This one is a work in progress actually!  I am making my own little CD chock full of crazy sounds, crazy songs and head bobbing madness.  No, all the songs are not about love me love me love me please (don’t you just hate when you buy a CD and every single song is about love?) There is a song that tells a girl “He don’t love you”, a song about “riding in my car”, a song about “war and drugs” a song about “prostitution”, one about “why I can’t open up to you” and so much more.  So it’s crazy cool and it’s fun to make up my songs and then sing em.  It’s not professional or anything but it’s fun!

Host a motivational seminar for young women:
I mentioned in another post that I had once gone to a seminar for women and women who were at least 20 years older than me were just as confused as a woman my age.  I felt like some of the issues these women were raising were issues that were supposed to be tackled already.  This got me thinking:  I’ve been through a lot and I’m still learning but wouldn’t it be awesome if I could host some sort of retreat for young women and motivate these women?   I’d love to tackle certain issues now so when we’re in our 40’s, 50’s and 60’s we don’t have to shell out $100 bucks for some watered down advice.  So this is def something I want to do.  I’d love us women to take over the world!

Well these are just a few things that I wanted to share.  Some are serious and some are playful.  I have all sorts of wants and wishes but even if I don’t cross everything off my list I think it’s wonderful to have something to work towards.

What’s on your list?
Maybe you should include meeting dendoo!

Much love, dendoo

Curious Tuesday…on a Tuesday

Posted in misc by dendoo on May 4, 2010

1. What are you most excited for RIGHT NOW?

To move to JAPAN this summer.  I’m excited beyond words.  Why can’t it be August?

2. Who is your style icon? What inspires your look?

I love, love, love Erykah Badu.  Can’t you just see it?  We’re united.  Look:




ME

On the real tip I enjoy finding my own influences, many people an things influence my me but at the end of the day it’s about the vibe I’m feeling and the energy that is flowing within in me.  But if I had to pick someone who captured everything I could never say it would be Erykah Badu.  Cause she baaaad.

3. If you could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, who would you invite?

I’d probably have dinner with My great grandmother and ask her a bunch of questions.  I never met her but I would like to.

4. What did you dress up as for your first Halloween?

Well the first Halloween I can remember I dressed up as Smurfette.  I mean come on…who else was I going to be?  I think she’s awesome cause she’s blue and not a lot of people can pull that colour.

5. What are you improving?

Trying to improve my:  Japanese, my anger, my need to procrastinate, my eyebrows, my hatred of taking baths and wearing the same undies up to three days in a row (yeah yeah like you’ve never done it) and my worrying.

Curious Tuesday on a Wednesday…

Posted in misc by dendoo on April 28, 2010


Some people have a pool for in their backyard.  I have this…..

The background behind Curious Tuesday can be found on Ms Gala Darling’s website.  Such a fun idea!  Getting to know you in just 5 questions…well getting to know more of you in just five questions.

1. What is the strangest compliment you’ve ever received?
When you get past the acne you’re one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen.  Like that makes me feel nice.

2. What’s your little-known talent?
I really like to sing!  I make songs all the time.

3. What do you obsessively search for on eBay?
I hate hate HATE eBay.  I’ve bought one item from it but I just think everything on there is a scam.  Plus…it’s really ugly.  It scares the designer in me.

4. When you were a child, who did you worship & want to be like?
Honestly, I wanted to be like my mommy but only skinner.  I thought and still think she’s one of the coolest people in this world. I admired everything about her.  I thought she was the prettiest woman ever, she was so smart, she made the best food and she always told me she loved me.

5. What was your palate band? Otherwise known as the first band you heard that made you realise the world of music was larger than whatever the Top 20 singles were!
Crazy as this seems my parents raised us on Country music so I had no idea what the top 20 songs were for a looooong time.  Maybe Nirvana?  I don’t know, I just knew music was music and like what ya like.

I know, I know… not terrrribly revealing but it was fun to answer.
Did you check out my latest posts on Finding your Inner Self and Springing into Summer? No?  tsk tsk…get on it boo!

I am a sexy pig//what i’ve learned from Miss Piggy

Posted in Inspiration, misc by dendoo on November 26, 2009

No girl wants to be called a pig but this girl does.  Actually, I would love it if you called me a hog.  Why would I take that as a compliment?  Because one of the best woman ever to grace this earth was a pig herself:  Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy is the sexiest, sultriest, most lusty woman ever created.  The great thing is she is a teacher because the things I am discovering about myself are all things Miss Piggy stands for.

First of all Miss Piggy ain’t afraid to show off the goods.  She has curves for days and she knows how to go out with a hoggy bang.  It’s all about being comfortable with your own skin. While I don’t have a stick of curves I do appreciate my body for the way it is, even if it is a bit malnourished by black standards, and I am learning to appreciate what I don’t have.  So I don’t have a big butt, maybe there is a reason why and I’m cool with that.

Every time you see Miss Piggy she has her makeup did, she’s wearing her cute clothes, and she’s looking porkalucious.  Miss Piggy doesn’t apologize for looking sexy and I love that! But the thing I love so much is Miss Piggy doesn’t have to be a porkwhore about her sex appeal.  She knows how to gorge it up appropriately and she knows when to give major vamp and voom.  Baby, I’ve got that trick in the bag: there are times when you need to give an understated sexy and then there are times when it needs to be in your face.  If you can own your sexiness then sexiness won’t own you.  Being comfortable with who you are is sexy.  I’m loving it!

The other thing I like about Miss Piggy is she knows how to do the super JUDO CHOP. HIIIIIIIYA.  This is one broad that can defend herself.  How about that:  a karate choppin pig.  But this shows us it’s okay to be able to defend yourself from the pitfalls of life.  Ain’t nobody messin with da piggy and ain’t no one messin with me.   Understand?  Good.  I’m not sayin put a huge wall around yourself but I am sayin when it’s time to protect yourself you don’t have to run to a man to do it; kick butt yourself.

Lastly I love the pigster for being able to love her Kermy.  Maybe the love is a bit unbalanced (Isn’t she always chasing Kermit?) but I adore the way she’s passionate about her frog.  Every woman needs her froggy and every woman needs someone to give their glorious bacon scented love to.  I think Miss Piggy encourages me to realize it’s okay to love, it’s okay to lust, it’s okay to heartache and it’s okay to trust. Have you ever heard Miss Piggy talk about Kermy?  It’s delish!!  And maybe that’s what love is and what love will be.  A delicious, semi non nutritous love affair that is simply gush worthy.

So Miss Piggy aside from teaching me my ABC’s youv’e taught me so much more. I remember brushing my teeth with my Miss Piggy toothbrush and who would have ever thought I would devote an entire blog post to you?  Hell, never not me!

Miss Piggy’s example is so great that I’ve started exploring and releasing the inner me.  The new me “might” be dating and “might” be falling in like…. I would tell you more but that’s top secret dendoo info.

Secret kisses and much love, dendoo.

i was in an abusive relationship

Posted in Inspiration, misc by dendoo on September 4, 2009

abuse

* this is not in any way me poking fun at abusive relationships.  i view abuse very seriously.  you can be in a damaging relationship with yourself and if you need proof just ask me about it.  sometimes we are so quick to say he was the cause of my problems or she really did put me through a lot but there are times when we HAVE to see that the problems started within ourselves.  if you don’t like it that’s fine but it’s my truth.  much love, dendoo.

when i grow up i want this ring….

Posted in misc by dendoo on July 14, 2009

i was asked by my girl PINK if i could have any kind of engagement ring what would i get….  well i decided to BLOG IT.

Photo 16 Photo 15
Photo 14 Photo 13

this is my gorgeous FAKE diamond ring from Claire’s.  It cost a whopping 3 bucks and it comes in handy for days when I need a playa to back up off me.  Holla!

the ring I’m wearing is very similar to this beauty:

But if I really could pick my engagement ring I’d go for something with a little more BOOM BOOM POW.  Yes diamonds are my best friend because they are my birthstone (APRIL SAY WHAAAA) but if I had to really pick a ring….I’d say I want something with a little more me in it.   Personally I love turquoise.  So I’d combo it up!!!

Here are some ideas for my kind of ring!


so what you think about my turquoise love? personally i love the bottom left.  whatever you love, however you rock it, however you don’t rock the big rock do your thing with lots of love from me, dendoo!